Dear Friends and Gentle Hearts

Norm Walker

The Apostrophe Squad Theme Song

(words and music by Norman G. Walker - 2002 © SOCAN)

We will fight, fight, fight, for the apostrophe
It’s a cause we are ready for to serve
We will seek the liberation from abuse of punctuation
From our course we shall not swerve
We’ll defend the honour of apostrophes
To preserve the place they ought to be
For the use of many actions of possessions or contractions
We will fight for liberty.

There are some of us are fighting in the trenches
Educators who are laying down the rules
Elementary and the secondary teachers
Using language as a tool.
And some of us do battle on the front line
The editors who proof the final draft
And some of us are authors and composers
On the ready for attack from fore and aft. … Chorus

Some folks will scatter apostrophes on pages
Like the shaking of the salt upon your plate
And others seem to barely ever use them
Like they cost too much to hire and pay the rate.
And some that think that plurals that end in Ss
Apostrophes are used as oft as not
Like they think it’s open season with a twelve-gauge
Blast the page and use apostrophes for shot. … Chorus

Now we know the English language is evolving
Vocabulary changes as we speak
And the use of punctuation’s no exception
Though for some of us the future’s looking bleak.
The contraction is the lesser of the problems
Two words becoming one is usually fine
But apostrophe usage with plural and possession is a different issue
I want to know what’s yours and know what’s mine is mine. … Chorus

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